Tuesday musings #9

When people hear that I have started blogging there has usually been an incredulous response something like this, "you're blogging, who wants to read what you have to say?" and those are the kind ones. Some are shocked, some surprised, some have thought that this is a waste of "my" time. Well, it's my time and I like doing it and I have something to say, beyond the puns and music jokes.

I don't write for other people (with the exception to the obscure lyric trivia group). I write for myself. What amazes me about some people is how they think they know me, and to be honest, even those of you who do read this thing regularly don't know me(by the way, thanks to G for calling me after last weeks musing, I appreciated that call more than you know). I can already hear the chorus from "simply red" as I type. If you didn't get that last reference, then go to last weeks trivia answer.

I guess the questions that I need to answer are as follows:

1. Do I want you to know me?
2. Do you really want to know me anyway?
3. Why haven't I allowed myself to be more open?
4. Can I trust you with who I really am?
5. What happens when I become open and my trust is breached(it happens)?

There are few people who know me as well as "my beloved". I have not opened up as much as I should (or should I?)to my children, and certainly not to my few friends. Who made the rules about all this anyway?

We (you, I and everyone else) live in multiple communities and there are rules for each community and they are usually different for each community i.e. current home, home we grew up in, in-laws home, work, church(place of worship), volunteer agencies, vacation spots and the list is likely very long.

The rules dictate what and how we should act and what our level of "intimacy" and transparency should be in each different community. I wonder what would happen if we minimized the rules once in a while and became real with each other just for a moment? I think that we would develop real intimacy in relationships then maybe, just maybe we would eliminate the politics that come with all these relationships. If that could be accomplished we would in no way accomplish Nirvana (the state not the band), what we might arrive at is honesty and trust and be willing to "share" with each other and for each other.

I know some of you are thinking that we would all end up sitting around in a circle singing "kumbya". Go ahead, laugh if you will, your greatest fears may also be your greatest desires as in: to know and be known (to paraphrase Maslow).

Well, I've opened the door just a little bit again this time, I can hear the hinges creaking, just like a cottage screen door, I guess it's time for a little oil.

Happy Tuesday everyone.