Tuesday Musings # 60

Happy Tuesday everyone

I'm usually a patient person. I am not a patient patient. I get frustrated with the lack of progress if I am in a medical situation. I want to get better now, if not sooner. I have known this for some time and yet the key to changing is the issue itself.

I have spent 8 or 9 days on this sick train. Certainly no party. It seems that whatever this "thing" is , it rips the energy out of you after very little activity. I discovered it again yesterday. I planned a day off with my daughter to celebrate her birthday. Thinking I was off on a day like any normal day off, we did the following: we got the car washed (by someone else), we went for a coffee (I still prefer timmies) and bought a book and a video. By the end of this two hour tour, I was done in.

Today and any day if you get this thing, take the time to rest, get better, rest again and then maybe recovery will come. If not, abandon hope all ye who enter here. No rest, no recovery.

Happy Birthday Baby

My baby girl (she won't be impressed) turns 19 today.

A momentous occasion that has already been busy with breakfast in bed (a Smyth tradition) and an early wake up phone call from from her brother. She and her Daddy will spend the morning going for coffee and maybe a few more surprises.

Looking back and looking forward is interesting. I remember so much. I am anticipating so much for her. She was born on a Friday, and decided to join us in the early evening. She has not been a morning person, from the start.

The future looks interesting, as much as we can envision for her. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, never mind the next day or month or.............. well you get it right?

When she was born, she asked God to take he and bless her and then we gave her back to Him. She belongs to Him first as does all that we own. What He chooses to do is up to Him. If we suffer the recent difficulty that some we know have, then he will carry us. If we suffer little and life for our daughter has everything and the picket fence, then we will accept that too.

Somehow, I think she will be all over the place serving and helping people less fortunate than she is and wanting to help them in some way. The years show what she has been called to.

Happy Birthday Baby.

A Hug

I received a hug this morning. A simple gesture from a new friend, a man who went beyond his normal experience to bring me the warmth of human love. I needed the hug, the warmth and the understanding from someone besides my beloved. She would give anything to bring me joy.

This hug was different. It came from a man who understands me. Those are few are far between. There are friends who hug and one knows the comfort is not there, there are those who hug because it is the right thing to do in the circumstance and then there are those who use this gentle embrace as a means to transcend all and just love.

Funny, we barely know each other having spent some time together over the last few years and not "opening up" but we really know each other and listen and even hear. This gift is priceless and rare and I have just had the privilege of being showered with the enveloping of warmth and love by him.

Thanks

Saturday almost silent

It's Saturday, it's sunny and almost silent.

I love Saturdays. I like the rest before the "day of rest" which is never a day of rest anymore. Saturdays have lately been reserved for my beloved and I to do the shopping, maybe a sandwich from Vincenzos and a coffee (hot chocolate for me) from the 'bucks. Today, it's just rest. No cooking, cleaning or anything. Sit and read, listen. Of course, by pressing play I realize that the silent nature of this idyll will soon be gone, but what will the sounds bring.

Currently it is Matt Redman, a prophet of sorts I guess. I consider some musicians to have special abilities to communicate important messages well and timely. It's been quite a week. You know there are people out there whose picture shows up in the dictionary depending on what you are looking for. I'll explain. I was in great need of a specialized service yesterday. I have actually needed this service for some time and in my need I called the one person who I depend on for this amazing service. There was Mrs. C. tools in hand, smiling face, jocular as always, amazing listening ears, kitchen bereft of cookies, but there was flour waiting to be made into something special, and there she was just waiting to help me in my time of need.

A servant, definitely. Honest as the day is long having within her the integrity required for all and serving in so many ways. Mary or Martha who has the greater responsibility? Who has the greater benefit?

So, as the music changes to "once upon a time...storybook love" by Knopfler, gentle melodies stream around me as the simple strains of a guitar fill the room. Memories of the movie and all the players stream past as I think of the many times we have enjoyed this together. Simple memories are the best. there are big bold memories trying to stomp into view, but I prefer the memory of the three of us sitting on that old yellow couch watching, listening, protecting and smiling then laughing then celebrating as good always wins over evil. My beloved has never been a fan of the movie but probably has more joy of the memory of the rest of us watching anyway.

"Horizons" is playing now. Most will not recognize unless prog rock is a favourite or you are learning to play it for your fathers enjoyment. There are more sounds now, the noon horn has sounded. Cars travel up and down the busy road, a sort of "short cut" from the north to the south of town. Country music is spilling from the kitchen, my baby girl (soon to be 19) is entertaining and cooking.

Time for this moment of silence to end with some rest.

First snow

I saw my first snow flakes of this season today.

They didn't live long, they were merely floating menacingly across the window as I looked out. A portent of what's to come, of course. I don't like winter, I don't like the cold, grey, drab days that seem to last forever. I miss the light of spring and summer and even the last vestiges of fall. It seems that the leaves have hurried away quickly this year. Maybe they know something we don't know, if leaves actually "know" anything. They don't of course, to impute the ability to know on a leaf is somewhat heretical and idiotic.

Thanks to a modern tool I have not injured anything doing the leaves this year. We bought a vacuum/blower thingy that helped and was kinda fun. I can't get rid of the snow with that, though.

As each day passes, the brevity of life weighs heavier on me. I am more than half way through this journey (there's no way this body even with the extra metal and plastic parts is gonna last 'til 104) and I wonder what have I done to benefit someone else? Have I done all that I can to make this world a better place for the people I love and for my neighbour?

Hmm, who would have thought that a few snow flakes would make me think like that? I guess being sick and having to rest is a good thing. Every once in a while I need to stop and get off this crazy wheel called work and listen. As I type (poorly), I hear the rustling of the pages in the book my beloved is reading, I hear the buzz from the ignored phone/communication tool as it silently screams at me to check the latest demands. I hear the wind in the trees whining as it moves along the way. I hear the buzzing in my ears from the silence.

This time of year is birthday time for some in my family. My baby will be nineteen(by the way, why do we say we "turn" 19, or 52) in a few days. My sister's birthday follows hers and then it is my turn to celebrate another years passing and look towards the future of another year approaching.

I also hear God..................saying.......peace......stop fearing.............be still..........I am..............