Rejected

In the sports arena, the word rejected is used as a positive one. A basketball player rejects an opposing players attempt to score by blocking a shot. Similarly, in other sports such as hockey and football, the ability to reject someone is lauded by the supporting members of a team as a positive move. There are even times when a spectacular play by one team member is appreciated by all, foes and fans alike.

But what happens when we are rejected by those whom we think love us? Is that acceptable behaviour? Is someone cheering the outstanding play of one person in their rejection of another?Why is there so much pain in the receipt of rejection?

Obviously, I speak from experience and sadly it is very recent. It has been the practice of my birth family and many others that when a visitor from "home" comes we welcome them and do whatever required to make them feel comfortable and "at home" here while away from home.

My daughter is in England and planned to visit Ireland for a weekend, while on a weekend break from school. I wrote to members of my birth family and asked if they could "put her up" for the weekend and take the time to show her the city I was born in, only as a native could show her. I also asked that they take her to the portion of the city where I was born and let her see the house.

Unfortunately, they rejected my request and my daughter in the process. I am hurt, embarrassed and so saddened by this. I cannot understand or fathom the reason for such a denial. I am reminded though of someone else who "went to his own and his own received him not". This same person was despised and rejected and was acquainted with grief. He knows what I feel like and I am the reason for His grief.

I want to lash out in my anger, I want to deny those who I am related to by blood and I am so saddened by their loss. A huge piece of my identity was ripped from my being by their behaviour. And yet, they have the greater loss. They will never have the opportunity to meet a lovelier young woman whose smile lights up a room, one who gives so much to others so that their life can be somewhat better. Their actions would cause their father, my grandfather immense sadness because they have chosen to miss out on meeting someone whose joy is greater than my deepest sadness or their deepest and most puerile discrimination. So I will rest in this, someone else knows my grief, He lived and died for me, and them. He forgave and I must too.............sometime.