Easter Monday and I have a day off and I have a few questions.

In these times where anything related to being Christian is considered unacceptable some of us still have a day off for Easter Monday.

I am sitting in my office at home, light streaming through the blinds, beautiful music playing while the birds about outside and I wonder why?

Why is it that a faith that teaches to "turn the other cheek", to "go the extra mile", that preaches the equality of men and women and so many more positive attributes is denigrated by so many so called wise people?

Why is it that a relationship that teaches us to love our enemies is unacceptable in this society of acceptability. Everything it seems is acceptable, except the faith in one who died for others, not Himself.

Why is it that it a faith that teaches husbands to love their wives to the point of dying for her is put down as being misogynistic?

Why is it that the foolishness of mankind is touted as wisdom?

I wonder, this Easter, is it because of a lack of willingness to bend the knee to someone greater and more powerful that anything ever considered. This someone who loved all of us so much that He came and willingly parted with human life in such a horrible fashion to "prove" His love?

Has this world become so dependent upon itself that it has become blinded to truth?

Why?

Never mind the why, what am I doing about it? I have been given marching orders to go and preach the gospel. Gospel means "good news". I have the good news that someone, a person, God, loves all of us so much more than we can imagine and He wants a relationship with me and each and every one of us. He is even willing to forgive us. Yes we all need forgiveness because each and every one of us has sinned. Yes I said sin! No one is exempted from this affliction and no one is exempted from the remedy for this affliction.

This same Jesus who loves me, loves you and wants that same relationship with you. In the words from a new favourite song of mine,

"He is jealous for me, loves like a hurricane I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His wind of his mercy...............and I realize just how beautiful you are and great your affections are for me"

Happy Easter

6 weeks and counting

I made it. It is now six weeks since the surgery and I feel fine. Well, not fine as in completely healed, but fine in that I am getting better. That continuum is somewhat longer than I thought. It seems that every time I go through these surgeries, the most recent was my tenth (10Th) bone related surgery. That's a lot of work, if it was plastic surgery, I'd already be someone different, that's a scary thought, good thing comments have been put on hold.

Oh well, I am now six weeks post major surgery to repair a back that was even more damaged than the surgeon thought. I am walking more, I am resting more, I am sleeping better, but, I feel like I have hit a plateau and it freaks me out. My beloved tells me that I used the exact words the last time (just over two years ago), to express me frustration with the state of recovery that I am in. So, I guess I need to keep counting and to remember the past.

In the spiritual world we are reminded to remember the former times when God did so much for us. The people of Israel are reminded to look back to the original Exodus. We have (at least I have), in my life, many experiences not too unlike the Exodus, where I can remember God working out the details when I could not even think through the initial steps. He was and continues to be true to His word, He says that "I will never leave you or forsake you" and so, in my time of frustration of being "stuck" or at a plateau, I need to look back to the "former times" and remember, believe and trust. That's a definition of faith for me.

Six weeks ago, I was on an operating table, I trusted God and the surgeon, He chose to fix my back and it was and is a long term agreement. I will continue to trust both of them, but God gets first billing, sorry Dr. M.

It's Quiet and I am thinking

They've all gone to church and I am left alone with my thoughts and a few sounds: the tapping on the keyboard, the usual rumbling of the house as it settles and the rare car as it travels on it's lonely ride down the on the road. And it's quiet.

I love the times when I can sit in relative quiet and think.

Sometime the thoughts are ones of great joy, like yesterday's celebration of my beloved's birthday. We had a small celebration, not like one for someone who is eleventyone, but small and only with family in attendance. She turned (where did that phrase come from anyway) 50 yesterday. She didn't want a big celebration because she knew that it would have caused me to expend too much energy while I am still in recovery mode. That's just one thing that is so special about my beloved. I would write more, but she reads this and does not like attention drawn to herself. So, she is amazing, beautiful, gifted, gentle, generous, kind and she has been mine for almost 30 years and I love her.

In quiet times like this I think and pray for those I care about and I wonder when the dreaded will occur. In the midst of that fear I am comforted by the knowledge that when it does happen she will be with Him and she will have no more pain.

It's quiet, and I am thinking........................

Pain is everywhere

Pain is everywhere and some wag said that "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional". Some days I wonder what the difference is. Some days I know and some I am not so sure anymore. I recently spent some time with a friend who is in deep emotional pain due to a horrific loss. It's at these times that I am often at a disadvantage to provide appropriate help. But, I know this, I will continue to treat these, my friends with love and special care and significant prayer support as they walk these difficult days following this loss. That's a common type of pain.

I talked to my baby girl today (talk being an interesting word). I actually chatted using skype, because the computer person who charged me 275.00 to fix her laptop, didn't. So, she is in Europe with the laptop and I am here and we were chatting. She told me of the hard time she was given by her classmates because of her work on a Canada day event at school. She left in tears because of their rejection. That's another type of pain. Hers and mine from two different perspectives.

I have had the pleasure of ingesting a wonderful drug for most of my life whose purpose is to keep me breathing. We discovered some years ago that this wonder drug has caused some unwanted and adverse side effects that are irreversible. So, I am on the road to new knees, hips and most of my back being operated on. That's a different type of pain.

What we do with the pain is personal, individual and somewhat interesting based on so many factors. Some receive it and have been taught to "offer it up" as in the Catholic tradition. Some have been raised to internalize it, as in "don't let your grandmother see you crying, you'll just upset her", some don't quite know what to do with it and want everyone to share in it as in the "pity party". Some use to it "lord it over people" and wear it like a badge so that their experience is the only experience that is important and everyone should pay attention and submit themselves to them individual because their pain is greater than anyone else and their loss is therefore more important.

Most of us, I believe, run from it whenever it arrives, often on the other end of the telephone line in the message from a family member, the call from a friend or the Dr. calling with the results of the latest test(s). The pain is often expressed by the withdrawal of an individual who is awaiting everyone else to drop everything to come and ask "is everything all right".

One person, walked towards the pain with intent. He even chose it. He chose to lay down His life, no one did that for Him. And He suffered. He was rejected. I think of all the fears that I endure, being rejected has to be one of the greatest. But here was the babe of Bethlehem, the second person of the trinity, the son of God and God Himself who was rejected because of the message of hope that he brought.

How does this help me in my suffering? Sometimes I honestly just don't know how. I can mentally put the jig saw pieces together that shows the picture of His choice for my love, but I can't make that take my pain away. I can believe, trust and "hope" for the better future, but I can't understand. I struggle daily to understand why the events that I have been involved in for the past 25 months make any sense and I am quickly drawn to the very first bible verses that I memorized,

"trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths"

Wow: here's what stands out for me:

Trust, Lord, Own understanding, Acknowledge Him, He, Direct Your, Path

I must trust that the experience that I am involved in is for my good and if my life is to draw closer to Jesus and to become more and more like Him, then I must choose to endure the suffering without complaint. That's one small step for God and one giant leap for this member of mankind (with no apologies to Neil Armstrong).

5 smooth stones

That's all it took, actually it only took one.

One small stone took down the behemoth who placed an entire army in fear. He, who spoke with disgrace about the one true God, who believing that his power was in his size stood before the boy with the stones and probably chuckled. There he was all 9 feet, 9 inches, towering over this young teen, if he had reached his teens. He was covered in armour and was to many, invincible.

Then the teen, who trusted that God would deliver him, picked a stone, placed it in his well worn and practiced sling and began to spin it. In time, the stone was released and the name of the fallen has been forever on the lips of many as the one who fell before David.

Goliath was not killed by a stone, he was stunned by the stone, and then had his head removed by his own sword. Gruesome, of course. He had defied God, His army, His people and all had shrunk back because all they saw was his size. David saw more than size, he saw a fool. One who depended upon himself rather than upon the one true God, and David the ancestor of Jesus took his rightful place in the history of mankind and did what he was called to do, obey!

What about you? What giants stand between you and obedience? I know that I too have many and I need to slay them individually. There are the giants of ancient pain, of fear, of rejection, of sadness, of recent pain and there are so many more. Some of them don't even have names yet, but they will. With God's help, with obedience and with some small smooth stones they too will be slain.

When is too much too much

For the last 21 months I have been walking a difficult road with some friends. They suffered an unprecedented loss and have been hanging on to God incredibly since then. As each day passes more weight is placed on their shoulders, never mind the daily responsibilities that they were thrust into. We and others have done as much as we can to lighten the load, but when we have all retreated to our own homes, they are left with the devastation. To add more to their existence, another issue has intruded into their lives.

At times like these I am left asking why. I am honest enough to say I have said to God why them? Why us collectively? Why can't they get a break given their experience for the last 21 months? And yet I know that nothing surprises God. He knew about these things before they occurred. Did He cause them? I don't believe that He did. Did He allow them? Yes! But why did He allow them to happen? What cosmic game plan is in place that prevents us from seeing anything but our single game piece? How can the depth of pain and loss be used to accomplish anything of a positive nature? And God answered me. It wasn't audible, but I heard Him in His word.

He said, do you trust me? I do! He said I spoke this world into existence do you trust me? I said I do! He said I love you, do you believe me? I said I do! He said will you let me be God? I said yes! I trust and believe that He knows best and He knows when too much is too much.

Forgiveness or hatred, which would you want to be known for?

I read the CNN account of the widow of the suicide bomber who killed the CIA operatives recently. It was interesting to see the "ethic" of belief of this person and presumably those who fall in line with her. She lied to cover his tracks (the report says she "tricked" his family by saying he was somewhere when he was actually going to kill people, although she says she did not know he was going to kill people). She also says that she "has no remorse" for what her husband did.

What would you want to be known or remembered for? To be considered a martyr by killing yourself and other people is clearly prized by some? Apparently the gift for the martyrs is something sensual with virgins. When are the women of the world going to take offence to the objectification of their sisters in this setting?

Would you rather be remembered for doing "for" someone, rather than doing something "to" someone, like blowing up a mother of three? Seems to me that there are stark differences in the faiths here. One says "turn the cheek", the other says "flip the switch".

How selfish!

And yet, this isn't the end. There will be more. Those who profess to turn the cheek will be hated (aren't we already) and the world is getting more and more anti-christian. Why? Because the christian belief is that there is a right and wrong and people in general do not want to be told that what they have done or are doing is wrong.

How selfish!

At the end of the day, I would rather be known for turning the cheek, for offering a cup of cold water and for feeding the hungry, rather than flipping the switch. I know that the God who loves will determine the difference between the sheep and the goats and since it was His son who said "turn the cheek" I am trusting Him on this one.

How selfless!

Be still and know that I am God

I am tired. I have had the opportunity to be sick in the past, but this one takes the cake. I have never felt this way and am struggling with the amount of time that I have been sick. I am very thankful that I have an employer who has been more than accommodating for the last 12 working days, and since it is now Wednesday, it will be 13 today. I don't know if it's h1n1, no one has tested me for it. I had all the right symptoms at the beginning and now am struggling with the remaining ones, fatigue and exhaustion and sometimes they feel like the same thing. Are they the same thing?

I am plodding along filling my system with steroids (21 days in total) knowing clearly what that is doing to my bones and who knows what else as well as two courses of antibiotics that will last approximately 24 days. But here's the rub, I awake and feel great. I mean like a beautiful sunny morning great and looking to enjoy the day. By the time I have completed my morning ablutions and gotten dressed, I am so tired that my entire upper body feels like it is shaking inside, what's with that?

So, like I said, I am tired. Frustrated doesn't even express how I feel being stuck here all day. My only escape is to take my daughter to work, get my timmies (which usually takes me several hours to drink) and then go and pick her up at the end of her shift.

I am preparing for my small group lessons, and my Sunday school lessons so I have something to do and they are completed, almost. Interestingly, this weeks small group lesson talks about having tribulations (that would be difficulties) and how important our attitude is to be when we experience and endure them.

I needed this lesson. It says, "count it all joy". Four words starting with count, probably meaning to "add" the benefit or learning opportunity of the circumstance to my experience. It refers to the experience itself. All, well that means every portion of this experience. Joy, meaning contentment not necessarily happiness.

And there it is, I am to be content in my experience no matter what. So, yes I am tired of this, I will be content to learn from the down time. I am ill, I will learn once again what it means to get better and to allow others the privilege to serve me. I will trust them as they treat me with kindnesses as I recover. I will seek out the benefit of just stopping and being.

"Be still and know that I am God" rings quietly in my mind. I do know, but I have not been still in a long time. I have been busy consuming time and fitting people in. I make appointments and fill my time so that there is no time for listening. I listened today.

Happy Birthday Baby

My baby girl (she won't be impressed) turns 19 today.

A momentous occasion that has already been busy with breakfast in bed (a Smyth tradition) and an early wake up phone call from from her brother. She and her Daddy will spend the morning going for coffee and maybe a few more surprises.

Looking back and looking forward is interesting. I remember so much. I am anticipating so much for her. She was born on a Friday, and decided to join us in the early evening. She has not been a morning person, from the start.

The future looks interesting, as much as we can envision for her. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, never mind the next day or month or.............. well you get it right?

When she was born, she asked God to take he and bless her and then we gave her back to Him. She belongs to Him first as does all that we own. What He chooses to do is up to Him. If we suffer the recent difficulty that some we know have, then he will carry us. If we suffer little and life for our daughter has everything and the picket fence, then we will accept that too.

Somehow, I think she will be all over the place serving and helping people less fortunate than she is and wanting to help them in some way. The years show what she has been called to.

Happy Birthday Baby.

A Hug

I received a hug this morning. A simple gesture from a new friend, a man who went beyond his normal experience to bring me the warmth of human love. I needed the hug, the warmth and the understanding from someone besides my beloved. She would give anything to bring me joy.

This hug was different. It came from a man who understands me. Those are few are far between. There are friends who hug and one knows the comfort is not there, there are those who hug because it is the right thing to do in the circumstance and then there are those who use this gentle embrace as a means to transcend all and just love.

Funny, we barely know each other having spent some time together over the last few years and not "opening up" but we really know each other and listen and even hear. This gift is priceless and rare and I have just had the privilege of being showered with the enveloping of warmth and love by him.

Thanks

First snow

I saw my first snow flakes of this season today.

They didn't live long, they were merely floating menacingly across the window as I looked out. A portent of what's to come, of course. I don't like winter, I don't like the cold, grey, drab days that seem to last forever. I miss the light of spring and summer and even the last vestiges of fall. It seems that the leaves have hurried away quickly this year. Maybe they know something we don't know, if leaves actually "know" anything. They don't of course, to impute the ability to know on a leaf is somewhat heretical and idiotic.

Thanks to a modern tool I have not injured anything doing the leaves this year. We bought a vacuum/blower thingy that helped and was kinda fun. I can't get rid of the snow with that, though.

As each day passes, the brevity of life weighs heavier on me. I am more than half way through this journey (there's no way this body even with the extra metal and plastic parts is gonna last 'til 104) and I wonder what have I done to benefit someone else? Have I done all that I can to make this world a better place for the people I love and for my neighbour?

Hmm, who would have thought that a few snow flakes would make me think like that? I guess being sick and having to rest is a good thing. Every once in a while I need to stop and get off this crazy wheel called work and listen. As I type (poorly), I hear the rustling of the pages in the book my beloved is reading, I hear the buzz from the ignored phone/communication tool as it silently screams at me to check the latest demands. I hear the wind in the trees whining as it moves along the way. I hear the buzzing in my ears from the silence.

This time of year is birthday time for some in my family. My baby will be nineteen(by the way, why do we say we "turn" 19, or 52) in a few days. My sister's birthday follows hers and then it is my turn to celebrate another years passing and look towards the future of another year approaching.

I also hear God..................saying.......peace......stop fearing.............be still..........I am..............

The absence of pleasure is not necessarily pain

Sounds rather maudlin doesn't it? Maybe even edging towards self pity? Nah! I am just having a darn time trying to get pleasure out of anything right now. his has to be the worst flu I have ever experienced. So, I am trying to rest, read, listen and drink lots of fluids.

Interesting though, today I read in my chronological bible reading about how Pilate had Jesus flogged because the "leading priests had arrested Jesus out of envy" (see Mark 15:10). Being flogged 39 times with a lead tipped whip would have caused more than pain and yet His captors are shown as expressing pleasure in the way they treated Him before, during and after the flogging that would have killed me.

And I sit in comparative peace awaiting recovery I read as He awaited a known death of suffocation and more than that He knew that at some point in the next hours the Father would place the weight of the sins of all upon Him as payment in full. And yet the Father who lives outside of time allowed this to happen in time so that "once and for all" the penalty would be paid.

It doesn't mean that we live a perfect life without sickness and pain, in fact the very knowledge of my failure causes me emotional and spiritual pain. In the sickest way by forsaking His only Son, God the father accepted me and you into the friendship of His family. In fact He calls us joint heirs even though I have failed and will continue to fail miserably because I do not know or understand the depth of His love for me. He knows that I will fail and he knows that I will rise again, seek forgiveness and be restored(Proverbs 24:16). It is the one who refuses to accept restoration that will be counted with the wicked.

Having a bad day?!

I've been having a tough time lately. Self imposed difficulties, extremely busy schedule (I guess that's self imposed too), Seasonal Affective Disorder (not my fault), way too much pain, frustrated with people, limited in my abilities, away from family and friends, man the list just keeps growing. Even when something good happens like getting involved with Hope for Bastion, I feel defeated because I can only do so much.

Guilt screams its' lies to me about my past and my frailties. Those (except my family) that I depend on leave with no excuse, The lies rattle around my head making more noise than a Dash 8 and more confusion than a 51 year old with Andropause. I got screamed at by a punk 23 year old because in his ignorance, I don't do enough from a social justice perspective. One of my last resorts, my small group, almost all come down with some illness, leaving my prepared lesson unopened.

And then my pity part ended. My beloved calls and says watch this. I dare you to watch this and feel sorry for yourself ever again. I dare you to watch this and say "I can't". I dare you to go and help someone else. Get a life and do something for someone else, I dare you!

Here's another one which allows you to hear where his joy comes from. I am amazed at the phrase, "I love living life I am happy"

I guess it's not such a bad day, week, month or life after all, is it?

I've been reading this lately a great way to live

^1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

³I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

^4-6In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

^6-8If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

^9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

^11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

^14-16Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

^17-19Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

^20-21Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good. (Romans 12, The Message)

9 9 9

Today is the ninth day of the ninth month in 2009. September 9, 2009 has arrived. I am not much into numerology or most other kinds of "ologies" (except theology) but the three nines has a bit of a ring to it.

Will it change anything about my day? I doubt it! As I watch the early morning sun begin to stream across the sky I am encouraged by the red sky in the morning. I know there are lots of rhymes about red skies in the morning, in fact in the book of Matthew, Jesus is quoted as saying, "red sky in the morning means foul weather all day". I also prefer to hearken to the following: "do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself, each day has enough trouble of it's own". This was also spoke by Jesus after teaching the disciples how to pray.

So, today is 9 9 9. What does it mean? Take today, this hour, minute and even every second captive and be blessed by everything: the breath that you take as you read, the labour that you do to feed yourself and others, the beauty of sunshine and rain, the frustrations of life because they compare with the wonderful positive moments, the car requiring repairs because you have a car, the giving of pleasure, for is it not better to give than to receive?

I know that when the next 9 9 9 arrives, I will no longer reside on this planet, so today is a day that I will revel in the many blessings that I have been given, what about you?

Tuesday Musings # 51

Happy Tuesday everyone

Much of my thought life this week has already been shadowed by Sept.11, 2001. I have no idea why, but I have been haunted by the images that I saw 8 years ago. I knew no one, I know no one and I have never met anyone who was related to anyone in those attacks. I have been afraid much of my life, I think I have to unwrap that little sentence sometime, but the attacks that day made me more afraid. Afraid of what? That is the question (sorry Bill).

That day is etched in my mind (and we're not talking etch a sketch. I remember where I was when I first heard the initial news, I remember what customers I was visiting, I remember the day and I remember vividly the discussions on the radio as I travelled back to the office. I recall the tv in the office and Bob trying to attach "rabbit ears" so we could see. My primary thought that day was I need to be at home with my family and I wanted to hug my wife and kids. Josh was 14 and Alex was 10.

Why do some zealots determine it "right" to kill innocent people? Are we not all innocent, with the exception of the Manson's of the world and others who we know are guilty of murder? Does anyone deserve death via suicide bomber? Before you take umbrage with my "one sided" rant yes, I am aware of atrocities committed by so called christians in the past. Did people deserve death by "inquisition" and the crusades? No, of course not. And what about the feuding parties in Northern Ireland that I was a child of that hatred does not escape me, ever.

When does it stop? When do we stop? When do I stop? It is up to me, to love my neighbour even though I may not like him or her (or them).

And who is my neighbour?

Jesus, in response to a question from a religion scholar about getting eternal life said:

"what is written in God's law"

and the scholar said

"That you love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and muscle and intelligence-and that you love your neighbour as yourself"

the scholar trying to trick Jesus said:

"and just how would you define neighbour"

and Jesus proceeded to tell the parable about the Good Samaritan:

"There was once a man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho. On the way he was attacked by robbers. They took his clothes, beat him up, and went off leaving him half-dead. Luckily, a priest was on his way down the same road, but when he saw him he angled across to the other side. Then a Levite religious man showed up; he also avoided the injured man.

"A Samaritan traveling the road came on him. When he saw the man's condition, his heart went out to him. He gave him first aid, disinfecting and bandaging his wounds. Then he lifted him onto his donkey, led him to an inn, and made him comfortable. In the morning he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, 'Take good care of him. If it costs any more, put it on my bill—I'll pay you on my way back.' "

"What do you think?" Jesus said, "Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?"

"The one who treated him kindly," the religion scholar responded.

Jesus said, "Go and do the same."

The message is for all of us. The Samaritans were hated by the Jewish people and yet this man treated those who hated him with kindness. The question of eternal life is not to be answered by the number of virgins that await us at Martyrdom, all people particularly women should be offended by that. Beyond anything it is selfish. Rather the question is what and how will we treat those we do not like now.

I am not a fan of war (have never been) or war movies (anymore). I have tired of any real life depiction of violence in the last few years and significantly more since April 2008. I recall listening to this piece of music at the end of Platoon in 1986 and being transfixed by it. The sadness expressed by the writer and the platform from which it is being played leaves me with tears at the horror and beauty of the world that we live in. Until we all see each other as neighbours, the dissonant notes of terrorism will remain.

Happy Tuesday everyone

Tenebras expellit et hostes

I wish I had paid more attention to my Latin in high school. The above saying is on my family coat of arms. I remember my Dad saying that it means that the light will dispel the darkness. Quite an honour don't you think. The darkness stands for all that is wrong in the world. Darkness is not inherently wrong, but things that are wrong are often done in secret, in darkness or held away from the clarity of light giving truth.

I took this photo on Friday morning Aug.14/09 at 8:08 a.m. as the sun was pushing through the trees across the street from our house. I saw the streaming light come through the branches and thought of the streaming light of truth as it is guided through my feeble defenses by a loving God who wants to bring all of me to the light.

I hope you like it. I certainly do and love that circle of light that can be seen in the bottom right hand corner of the photo.

Surprise visits and other things

I love surprise visits.

I love just doing it, seeing someone and then inviting them to a meal and enjoying the time together. Just this morning, two members of our small group were out checking out the garage sales and then dropped in to visit with me.

How cool is that, we just sat and chatted and then they were gone. I love my small group. I love that we all have grown in our relationship with God and each other over these past few years. The members have come and gone but the core has remained and we get along well and we challenge and encourage each other without restraint.

This is what church is supposed to be as far as I am concerned. Church is a group of people who spend time together learning about and from God, worshipping Him and then looking for opportunities to serve others so that they too will experience the love that we have received. As much of a traditionalist that I am, church is not about traditions, special clothes(like dressing up for church), special music, money or any of the other sacred cows that need to be slaughtered on the altar of sacrifice.   

Sometimes I just want to scream at the things that distract us from our true calling, worshipping and serving God. There are several ways that I experience closeness with God, when I sing and when I am silent. The silence of the monastery is such a passionate time for me. I discover what is pressing to me and more importantly, I listen. 

When was the last time you prayed and didn't speak or even consider your own needs and listened in your heart for what that "still small voice" had to say? Lately I have been spending my prayer time in complete silence and just observing my surroundings. Usually, I ramble on and acknowledge, confess, thank, and supplicate(ACTS), but I have seen the need for me to be silent. An old chorus based on Habakkuk 2:20 went like this,

 "the lord is in his holy temple, let all the earth keep silence"  

I have been silent and have heard His voice and I have tried to listen and follow His direction. 

When is "an eye for an eye" too much?

I have read with interest and disgust the story of the Iranian woman who was scarred for life by a man who claimed he "loved" her. In yet another despicable attack on a woman, this "man" chose to disfigure her because she refused his advances. How bad can the world be when this happens to defenceless people?

And yet, it turns worse. In a literal application of the adage "an eye for an eye" this woman wants the court to rule in her favour (he confessed and has been in jail since two weeks after the attack) and pour acid into his eyes. She says it is not out of revenge, but rather so that it never happens to another person. Look at the somewhat more rational U.S. and the states that have death penalties, does this stop murder? I would respectfully suggest that possibility of being put to death does not prevent murder.

When are we going to return to a better adage like, love your enemies or pray for those who hurt you or how about do not return evil for evil and how about turning the other cheek. Aye, but there's the rub, those attributes are not valued. Only "blood money" and retribution will work to resolve this. Where in the world are we going? Wherever it is, we are going fast and I want off this train.

Angry Dad

This might be the safest place to spew my anger at some of my daughters so called "friends". None of them read this and I doubt their parents do, however they shall still remain anonymous.

I have spent much time listening to my daughter speak and cry late saturday night about her "friends" who treated her with indignation most of the weekend while they were away at a Drama festival with her school drama class. She told me of them lying to her, so they would not have to drive her to the classes and giving rides to others. What hurt me the most was the fact that they kicked her while they thought she was asleep. One of them kicked her when they left the room and the other when they returned and then joked about kicking her while she could still hear them. 

Never mind that they carelessly spoke inaccuracies about her while in the bathroom and she just happened to be in one of the stalls crying. What amazes me most about this is the depth of my anger. To make matters worse, the parents of one of the girls are friends of ours and we all attend the same church. 

So what do I do? Do I speak with the girls? Do I speak with the parents? Do I treat them the way they treated my daughter?

I have more recently written about being a Christian. I have learned that you can't be just a little bit Christian. Kinda like being a "little bit pregnant". I need to either believe what I believe and be sold out, or not believe at all. I can't just take the parts I like and apply them and leave out the parts that don't fit right now. I can't accept that "God is Love" and not accept that God requires me to forgive. I also have to accept that He will judge the living and the dead. It's all in, or fold. I can't fold I have to be all in.

That means that I have to turn the other cheek, I have to forgive these girls and I have to be an example for my daughter. So to B. and S. I forgive you. I will hold no grudge against you. I trust the loving, forgiving and judging God to assess your behaviour and to deal with you as He would deal with me if I did not forgive you.

I will sleep well tonight.