6 weeks and counting

I made it. It is now six weeks since the surgery and I feel fine. Well, not fine as in completely healed, but fine in that I am getting better. That continuum is somewhat longer than I thought. It seems that every time I go through these surgeries, the most recent was my tenth (10Th) bone related surgery. That's a lot of work, if it was plastic surgery, I'd already be someone different, that's a scary thought, good thing comments have been put on hold.

Oh well, I am now six weeks post major surgery to repair a back that was even more damaged than the surgeon thought. I am walking more, I am resting more, I am sleeping better, but, I feel like I have hit a plateau and it freaks me out. My beloved tells me that I used the exact words the last time (just over two years ago), to express me frustration with the state of recovery that I am in. So, I guess I need to keep counting and to remember the past.

In the spiritual world we are reminded to remember the former times when God did so much for us. The people of Israel are reminded to look back to the original Exodus. We have (at least I have), in my life, many experiences not too unlike the Exodus, where I can remember God working out the details when I could not even think through the initial steps. He was and continues to be true to His word, He says that "I will never leave you or forsake you" and so, in my time of frustration of being "stuck" or at a plateau, I need to look back to the "former times" and remember, believe and trust. That's a definition of faith for me.

Six weeks ago, I was on an operating table, I trusted God and the surgeon, He chose to fix my back and it was and is a long term agreement. I will continue to trust both of them, but God gets first billing, sorry Dr. M.

Four weeks since surgery

Wow, yesterday was four weeks exactly since I had my surgery. I am so pleased with my recuperation so far. I am walking(with my friend wheely walker) and of course a family member or friend.

I am so thankful for the help of many people as I have continued on this journey to better health. They have encouraged me and blessed me when I have struggled with "cabin fever". Cabin fever is awful. I have access to books, music, computer, tv and family and friends. I just wanted to get out of here and feel the breeze(no matter how hot is has been). So, my beloved or my children have graciously taken me for rides to help alleviate the fever. Usually it results in me being exhausted after 1/2 hour, but that's ok.

I've just spent about an hour sitting and standing and sitting (you get the drill) on the deck, reading and listening. There is a nest of some small bird just by the deck and the call of this bird is beautiful. I bet they don't get cabin fever :).

I have so much to be thankful for and my recovery so far is clearly one of these things.

21 days

It's been 21 days since the most recent surgery. Sounds a little like "bless me father it's been 21 days since my last confession" no offence meant to the Catholics out there, I used to be one.

All in, it has been a success. I am so glad I have accomplished as much as I have in 3 weeks. I need to heed the directions of the doctors both of whom said that I should continue to "take it easy".

And I will continue, I am more than half way through "The Book of Negroes" and I wouldn't say I am enjoying it. I am unsure how one can enjoy some of the details that Hill has placed in the story. But as disturbing as the story is, it helps me with taking it easy. In addition, I have numerous cookbooks at my fingers, or at least on my dresser and then there's The Food Network.

I have spent some of my time watching some shows discovering and stealing recipes. Well, not really stealing, I prefer to call it harvesting, that's a pretty good one I think. Well, that's it, time to change position.

Altered States, no thanks

With no apologies to Paddy Chayefsky, I hate altered states. The state, that is, not the book or the movie, although Ken Russell might be an altered state all to himself.

While studying Psychology at University, I discovered the book by Chayefsky and I also studied many different types of altered states in numerous classes and courses. I did not participate in studies like the Leary stuff, although I have had some voluntary altered states when I was much younger.

No, the state that I refer to is the state I have found myself in due to the need for analgesics following my recent surgery. I hate having to read and re-read a paragraph. Just thinking that this post just might make sense actually humours me. To add to this altered state I have just watched the first part of "Woodstock" yes the original and only "Woodstock" with my son. The numerous depictions of altered states was mind bending, sorry I had to put that in. The state was not just due to drugs, but also due to meditation (looked like tantric at some point), Tai Chi, dance and then there was Joe Cocker, who had his own "altered state" when he "got by with a little help from his friends". I just love watching his "air guitar".

I want to have a clear head, to think, to recall, to be able to come up with the correct word when speaking with family and visitors. The likelihood is that I either get used to the stuff, or I get off them. That's my master plan, to get off all of this stuff, I want to be free of the affect and effect of the chemicals on my brain, my mind, my state of being and my life. That's not too much to ask, is it?

Aah patience, yes I know it's a virtue, my Mom always said that and a few others too, some were clearly from Solomon, but this one is not. The only kind of altered state I want right now is to sleep, perchance to dream.

Staple Free

I have heard lots of jokes and comments about staples in the last two weeks, but by far the best one is from today: "they are all out", said the technician.

I saw the Dr. today as scheduled and he is very happy with the results so far. He then turned me over to the "technician/staple remover/torturer". The technician was actually very kind. He proceeded to remove the staples and unfortunately his attempts to distract me didn't work. Oh well, he stopped after the first 20 or so, gave me time to catch my breath and then returned to finish the job. He removed all 51, I guess I have my own personal area 51 happening.

Lots of good news today, the surgery has been successful. The foot drop is recovering, ever so slowly, but improving. I am in less pain and so far I have no numbness in my left leg and none in either feet(or is the proper grammar either foot?).

The direction from the Dr. is as follows: "take it easy", he must be an Eagles fan! So, I am taking it easy. Taking walks when I can, watching the "Food Network" as much as I want and resting. I haven't felt this good in so long. The key now is to not overdo it.

First do no harm

That's part of the Hippocratic oath taken by doctors apparently.

There is a difference between hurt and harm, I have been preaching it for more than 24 years in my professional life to the people I am honoured to provide assistance to. Things are certainly different from this perspective. Now I am the one listening to someone drone on about "between 1 and 10 how is your pain?". It's really an idiotic question if you ask me. Asking someone hours after surgery has been conducted to open the entire lumbar section of their spine is akin to asking a pregnant woman how the pain is just before the delivery. The simple answer, "it hurts more than before the surgery should suffice" but is doesn't. I know the purpose is to assess and then review later, but since it is so subjective, what reasonable information can be gained by the ongoing question?

Oh well, the pain is now lower in some ways that pre-surgery and that's great. My ability to walk about is improving, in fact I went for a "walk" yesterday. I walked from my house down my driveway to the driveway of my next door neighbour and then I walked home. A momentous achievement. I hope to "walk" a little more when I can with the goal of walking around the block with my beloved.

This, in spite of all the pain, tells me that I am getting better. For this I am truly thankful. I really need to remember that I am only 10 days post major surgery. I will continue to update this blog with my successes and struggles as well as with some other thoughts that are finally pushing through the fog of drugs.

Surgery 2010 issue 2

I am now more than 5 days post surgery. To quote the amazing James Brown "I feel good". There have been some interesting experiences over the last few days but like the old adage (or was it wag) says: "in a few years we'll be laughing about it", so I look towards the laughter and not the frustration.

So far the work of an amazing surgeon and OR team has me moving with greater mobility and less pain (some of the time). It seems that my strength is improving where I have had some loss of ability. I have been told a nerve takes a millimetre a day to recover. Good thing I have short legs, because now I finally have a reason to be thankful for being the shortest in the house.

Speaking of short, this will be a short post, I cannot sit her for very long periods.

Surgery 2010 issue 1

Well here we go again.

In approximately 36 hours the blade of the knife will once again be drawn along my spine in another attempt to resolve what has become a lingering problem. This time they think they have identified the problem and will attempt to install what I have been referring to as a grown up "meccanno" set.

I am scared, excited, thankful and also feeling a multitude of emotions as I await the next part of this journey. The first one worked but only for a few days and the problems returned again. Now, I have the feeling that they have finally identified the source of the issue and are trying to resolve the root(pun intended) issue to the problem.

In the midst of emotions I have been experiencing is peace. My friends have prayed for me to have peace in this journey. So I trust the "Prince of Peace" to pour it out on me and I will rest in His mighty healing and gentle arms for the next days as I experience this again.