Food I want to cook on my new BBQ

I received a new BBQ for Father's day 2010. It is sitting in my garage completely built and hasn't seen a single flame yet. My beloved has determined that no one but myself is allowed to use it until I have recovered enough from this year's surgery.

It's a Weber, a Genesis, special edition, even. And it is a beautiful piece of furniture. My good friend Ken built it for me so when I am allowed to use it he and his bride will be one of the first guests.

So, on to the foods I want to cook on it.

Steak and lots of different cuts

Salmon

Seafood

Prime Rib Roast

Pork Loin Roast

Lobster

Grilled Veggies

Chicken on the rotisserie

I love cooking and I want to try some new things, so check back soon to see what cooking adventures I have been on. It's been a while since I cooked anything, so when I get the go ahead from the Dr. I will be cooking feverishly to feed my family and my friends. I am getting hungry already, mmmmmmmmmmm, even homemade burgers sound great at this point.

As sure as eggs is eggs

I had a thought the other day, well actually I had more than one but the purpose of this post is to begin to explore the one that is reflected in the title of this post. I want to build a chicken coop. I then want to put chickens in it and I want to begin to have fresh eggs to eat. I have friends who have one, check out the following link to their amazing B&B

http://www.bbniagaraonthelake.com/

The photo above is from the living quarters of the owners of the B&B. The purpose of this post is to begin the process of thinking about, then designing and building my very own chicken coop. So, if you hear the sounds of clucking and whatever chickens do coming from my back yard in the future, you can be assured that the fresh eggs are being developed. Should be fun, I hope.

First do no harm

That's part of the Hippocratic oath taken by doctors apparently.

There is a difference between hurt and harm, I have been preaching it for more than 24 years in my professional life to the people I am honoured to provide assistance to. Things are certainly different from this perspective. Now I am the one listening to someone drone on about "between 1 and 10 how is your pain?". It's really an idiotic question if you ask me. Asking someone hours after surgery has been conducted to open the entire lumbar section of their spine is akin to asking a pregnant woman how the pain is just before the delivery. The simple answer, "it hurts more than before the surgery should suffice" but is doesn't. I know the purpose is to assess and then review later, but since it is so subjective, what reasonable information can be gained by the ongoing question?

Oh well, the pain is now lower in some ways that pre-surgery and that's great. My ability to walk about is improving, in fact I went for a "walk" yesterday. I walked from my house down my driveway to the driveway of my next door neighbour and then I walked home. A momentous achievement. I hope to "walk" a little more when I can with the goal of walking around the block with my beloved.

This, in spite of all the pain, tells me that I am getting better. For this I am truly thankful. I really need to remember that I am only 10 days post major surgery. I will continue to update this blog with my successes and struggles as well as with some other thoughts that are finally pushing through the fog of drugs.

Surgery 2010 issue 2

I am now more than 5 days post surgery. To quote the amazing James Brown "I feel good". There have been some interesting experiences over the last few days but like the old adage (or was it wag) says: "in a few years we'll be laughing about it", so I look towards the laughter and not the frustration.

So far the work of an amazing surgeon and OR team has me moving with greater mobility and less pain (some of the time). It seems that my strength is improving where I have had some loss of ability. I have been told a nerve takes a millimetre a day to recover. Good thing I have short legs, because now I finally have a reason to be thankful for being the shortest in the house.

Speaking of short, this will be a short post, I cannot sit her for very long periods.

Surgery 2010 issue 1

Well here we go again.

In approximately 36 hours the blade of the knife will once again be drawn along my spine in another attempt to resolve what has become a lingering problem. This time they think they have identified the problem and will attempt to install what I have been referring to as a grown up "meccanno" set.

I am scared, excited, thankful and also feeling a multitude of emotions as I await the next part of this journey. The first one worked but only for a few days and the problems returned again. Now, I have the feeling that they have finally identified the source of the issue and are trying to resolve the root(pun intended) issue to the problem.

In the midst of emotions I have been experiencing is peace. My friends have prayed for me to have peace in this journey. So I trust the "Prince of Peace" to pour it out on me and I will rest in His mighty healing and gentle arms for the next days as I experience this again.

The unknown commenter

For some time now, I have been receiving comments from someone who leaves his/her comments in a language that I do not speak or read. It appears to be in one of the oriental languages: Chinese, Japanese, Korean or something else. It looks beautiful but I have not been able to find a website that can translate it yet.

So whoever you are, thanks for the comments (I think), but I can't read it, so try and get it translated for me please.

It's time for a few changes

Clearly, I hope, you can see that I have made some changes to the blog.

Why you may ask? Well, it's like this, the blog has been in existence for quite some time and it really needs some changes. I have been working on personal change for some time now and I thought that the new view looked pretty cool. It actually fits with the title "The Path is Clear".

The path is clear as I look forward through the window that is provided for me and you in the blog. There are other changes also. I have taken my health more seriously in the past 9 months as I have now lost 41 pounds and am planning on losing more. I "want to be well". I am tired of not changing things that I have the power to change and so I am doing it in a very healthy way.

There are other things too, most of which will be in other posts, which will follow this one. Let me know what you think about the changed blog, please feel free to leave a comment or drop me a line via email. I'll leave you with this quote:

"there is nothing wrong with change if it is in the right direction"

Sometimes when we touch

Anyone who grew up in the 70's has to know where that some lyric comes from. Actually it's the title of a song by Dan Hill. He the troubadour of many ballads where probably many children were conceived.

I returned home from a fabulous weekend away with some friends to be greeted by my loving wife. What a beautiful event, we chatted, had lunch and decided to point the car and see where it would take us. We advised our progeny that we would be home by dinner time (and we are) and climbed board SHADOEFX who quickly took us for a ride.

We headed south to the land of water and the loo for gas and decided that a visit to a local coffee establishment would be in order. Ever the gentleman, I joined my beloved in her search for her cold drink and queued with the other patrons of the barista establishment. I having already had my fill of expensive coffee, decided on even more expensive Italian water(what a rip off).

I completed the purchase(some would say participate in extortion) and waited for my beloveds drink. I listened carefully as I heard the plucking of strings and the strained sounds of a poorly executed sound system. In the midst of this cacophony came a voice from the past, trying to achieve victory over the miserable sound system. I moved closer to the sounds only to be struck by the visage of a gaunt but strangely familiar face. A person whose words have caused me to shed many tears over the years since the 70's. A man I have often wished to hear and see and even meet in person was sitting and strumming not 20 feet away from me. There he was, Dan Hill, the author of many soulful ballads including the one from the title of this post, sitting in Chapters.

We sat and listened, he talked about the relationship with his dad and I cried. I cried for him, I cried for myself and I cried for my beloved. I also smiled many smiles. I recalled many terrific memories from the 70's and 80's when his music was always on my turntable. What an amazing weekend I have just had, I spent numerous hours with work colleagues whom I love at a reunion in Collingwood. I returned home to the arms of my beloved and to her smiles. I met Dan Hill, one of my musical heroes and chatted with him. He signed the book I purchased and I learned once again that it's ok for a man to cry. I am 52 and I shamelessly allowed tears of sadness and joy to roll down my face in a Chapters store in Waterloo.

"the honesty's too much and I have to close my eyes and hide"

Not anymore!

It's only words and words are all I have ......

The line in the title is from an old Bee Gee song in case you were wondering.

I love words. I love that they go together and make sentences. I love that some people have such an amazing ability to string them together in such a fashion that they more than make sense, in fact they inspire. I have a friend and colleague who used to bring the "word for the day" to team meetings. I loved how he would bring a usually obscure word to our attention and we would learn its' meaning and pronunciation. I appreciate the usage of words especially when they encourage. I hate it when words are used to hurt or denigrate.

Sometimes I am struck by a word without ever thinking about its' origin or meaning. I experienced just that today when I heard someone say the word "killjoy" and the thought of killing ones joy flooded over me. To break the word into two leaves me with kill and joy. The common definitions are those who refer to "someone who spoils the fun or pleasure of others".

But is it possible? Joy is not happiness. Happiness is based on the outward experiences that are foisted upon us. Joy is a state not based on experiences, but rather a state of existence without the qualifiers of others. So, is there really a "killjoy" or is the word inappropriately named? If my joy cannot be stolen, can I give it away? Am I therefore the only killjoy that exists? It is then a choice to remove life from my joy all by myself. I cannot kill the joy of others, or can I? I used to say to my kids that being grumpy was a choice and they (or I depending on my day) could choose to be grumpy or happy.

I see that nothing much has changed, has it?

Pain is everywhere

Pain is everywhere and some wag said that "pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional". Some days I wonder what the difference is. Some days I know and some I am not so sure anymore. I recently spent some time with a friend who is in deep emotional pain due to a horrific loss. It's at these times that I am often at a disadvantage to provide appropriate help. But, I know this, I will continue to treat these, my friends with love and special care and significant prayer support as they walk these difficult days following this loss. That's a common type of pain.

I talked to my baby girl today (talk being an interesting word). I actually chatted using skype, because the computer person who charged me 275.00 to fix her laptop, didn't. So, she is in Europe with the laptop and I am here and we were chatting. She told me of the hard time she was given by her classmates because of her work on a Canada day event at school. She left in tears because of their rejection. That's another type of pain. Hers and mine from two different perspectives.

I have had the pleasure of ingesting a wonderful drug for most of my life whose purpose is to keep me breathing. We discovered some years ago that this wonder drug has caused some unwanted and adverse side effects that are irreversible. So, I am on the road to new knees, hips and most of my back being operated on. That's a different type of pain.

What we do with the pain is personal, individual and somewhat interesting based on so many factors. Some receive it and have been taught to "offer it up" as in the Catholic tradition. Some have been raised to internalize it, as in "don't let your grandmother see you crying, you'll just upset her", some don't quite know what to do with it and want everyone to share in it as in the "pity party". Some use to it "lord it over people" and wear it like a badge so that their experience is the only experience that is important and everyone should pay attention and submit themselves to them individual because their pain is greater than anyone else and their loss is therefore more important.

Most of us, I believe, run from it whenever it arrives, often on the other end of the telephone line in the message from a family member, the call from a friend or the Dr. calling with the results of the latest test(s). The pain is often expressed by the withdrawal of an individual who is awaiting everyone else to drop everything to come and ask "is everything all right".

One person, walked towards the pain with intent. He even chose it. He chose to lay down His life, no one did that for Him. And He suffered. He was rejected. I think of all the fears that I endure, being rejected has to be one of the greatest. But here was the babe of Bethlehem, the second person of the trinity, the son of God and God Himself who was rejected because of the message of hope that he brought.

How does this help me in my suffering? Sometimes I honestly just don't know how. I can mentally put the jig saw pieces together that shows the picture of His choice for my love, but I can't make that take my pain away. I can believe, trust and "hope" for the better future, but I can't understand. I struggle daily to understand why the events that I have been involved in for the past 25 months make any sense and I am quickly drawn to the very first bible verses that I memorized,

"trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct thy paths"

Wow: here's what stands out for me:

Trust, Lord, Own understanding, Acknowledge Him, He, Direct Your, Path

I must trust that the experience that I am involved in is for my good and if my life is to draw closer to Jesus and to become more and more like Him, then I must choose to endure the suffering without complaint. That's one small step for God and one giant leap for this member of mankind (with no apologies to Neil Armstrong).